I almost don’t even have the words to put this post together, I feel as though words have failed me lately which is hard because I love to write… today my sweet little Bodhi boy turns ONE. I can say all of the cliche things (where did the time go, how did we get here, I can’t believe he’s One) but the truth is I have spent the past year falling deeply and madly in love with this little guy. There wasn’t a moment I wasted because I knew from experience that his first year would pass by in the blink of an eye, and that it did (even quicker than the first time, might I add)
When I found out I was expecting (with Bodhi) I pictured my life with two little girls running around, I was so sure that we were going to have another baby girl. We had her name picked out, I had her nursery envisioned and I even had headbands sitting in an online cart for her newborn photos. So you can imagine my surprise (and shock) when they showed me the boy parts on the ultrasound.
There was a brief moment when I mourned the loss of “my girls”, the fact that Scarlett would never have a sister and of course all of the matching opportunities but that moment lasted just that, a moment. That moment was replaced with excitement and a little bit of “oh shit, I have no idea how to raise a boy”.
Fast forward to November. 30, 2015 at 1019AM when this sweet baby boy was placed in my arms. It was without a doubt love at first sight, a kind of love I can’t explain and the kind of love I didn’t know I needed. My boy. My Bodhi Asher.
Bonding with this sweet boy was effortless and I felt as though I was in another world for weeks. I had two beautiful children, a perfect delivery and a baby with the most gentle and easy temperament. I don’t know if it was different hormones because I had a baby boy or because I knew how fleeting the moments would be but for some reason those early days were a beautiful dream.
The past year has been the greatest year of my life. I’ve had the joy of being able to stay at home with my two babies and to watch them bond. Their love for one another inspires me and although most of the time it was busy with two it was the best kind of busy. Were there hard times? Of course there were, I have a whole post drafted about the harder parts of this past year but overall (in hindsight) I can only see the positive and beauty in how lucky I was to have this time with them.
Although I say every age is my favourite there is something special about that first year. I am so thankful that I live in Canada so that I am able to take the first year to be with my babies. At age One (I still can’t believe I’m saying this) Bodhi is showing a lot of similar personality traits to his sister but at the same time complete opposites. I’ve always been fascinated by nature vs. nurture and I feel like I’m seeing some of that come out in my babies’ personalities.
Bodhi is the sweetest little boy and he has been a Mama’s boy (especially when he was nursing) but lately he’s just a little lover and he’s (mostly) happy to be with myself or Adam. He gives the longest and most sincere baby hugs where he lays his little head into your chest while putting his arms on his sides and just sinks in and kicks his little legs, it warms my heart every single time. He also loves to give open mouthed kisses that are equally as heartwarming. He LOVES to snuggle, in fact tonight he was tired and made it known that he just wanted to go up to his room and rock in the arm chair… he laid wide awake but nuzzled into my arms. We could have laid like that for hours, he never protests a snuggle in the rocker before naps and bedtime but he is an amazing self soother who can put himself to sleep and sleep through the night (12+ hours).
As far as temperament goes, he is my definition of the perfect baby. If I could have more Bodhi’s I would have at least two more (I’m sure he’ll make up for this in the years to come)
Bodhi is also the most laid back kid, as long as he’s rested and fed he is happy as a clam. He is always smiling and loves to flirt with strangers. He is not a bit shy as long as I am close by and if I put him down where there are other kids he’ll crawl right over and join in on the fun. He plays independently (and with the animals) all the time but he mostly loves to play with his sister. He loves playing peek-a-boo in the teepee and singing pat-a-cake. He also LOVES music and if he hears it playing he is dancing (or bobbing his head up and down)
He is the happiest, most content baby. He is cruising the furniture a lot (and even moving it around) but he doesn’t have much of a desire to walk at all and I’m ok with that. He still has NO teeth but he can gum pretty much anything and it looks like his two top front ones are about to pop through anytime now. He loves to talk and he’s always babbling something in his little “Bodhi language”, I have no idea what he’s trying to say but he looks very serious.
He loves his bath and water, I finally understand the whole water getting all over the bathroom floor thing. He adores both of our pets but mostly the kitten, they’re like two peas in a pod and always causing chaos together.
The past year has been nothing short of perfect. I’ve fallen in love for the third time in my life and this sweet baby boy is everything I didn’t even know I needed. I’m so thankful to have both a beautiful daughter and a son and I can’t picture life any other way now.
I sit here choking back tears and conflicted knowing that it’s the end of my life with my own tiny little newborns. It’s the end of the sleepless nights, the middle of the night feeds and the countless hours wondering if I’m even doing it right. The moments I shamefully wished away (at times) are now gone and I’ll never get them back. I really tried living in the moment this past year and although it didn’t slow time it did allow me to savour them and I feel as though I took it all in, enough to have memories that will last a lifetime.
On the other hand I’m so proud of the little boy he is becoming and I’m excited for what’s to come, to continue learning about him and watching the relationship between Bodhi and his sister grow. I look forward to seeing him take his first steps, to hearing his little thoughts on life and seeing him interact with his peers.
In the end my babies will always be my babies even when they’re old enough to have their own.
Happy birthday my sweet Bodhi boy.